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Remembering

- Little Me - 

Smiling Child

I have been tasked to give voice to my younger self, adolescent self as well as adult self as part of a therapeutic process. Being Reflective in nature I know these tasks can often unearth memories and or feelings that need to be voiced but are often hard to revisit. Now in writing this I was most definitely visiting a past version of self that has not yet had the opportunity to give voice to her experience or feelings. I have grown and evolved and although I am no longer that version of 'self', the vision of this past version of 'self' and the emotion/experience attached to her was quite strong - I shall affectionately refer to her as "little me" ( ;) ). She is most definitely deserving of  being heard as well. I believe it is only in acknowledging and accepting all versions of self and then allowing ourselves to feel the feelings attached to those versions of self that we can healthily move through them and allow for healthy processing of emotion  ... It is a hard, yet very rewarding process.

Little me is lost

Removed/Disconnected

Scary, big empty spaces of remembrance

With no faces or events attached to them 

A misty haze of remembrance

Helo, helo ....helo ? (My echo the only answer I receive)

Can anybody hear me/see me, see me...

Little feet rooted/Fixed

Unwilling/Unable to move 

Motionless/Frozen

Surrounded by people moving along

to a beat I just cannot seem to hear

A cacophony of voiceless voices

emanating from faceless faces

Maddening ...

Squeeze my eyes shut/Cover my ears

As I become even smaller 

The world a little bit bigger 

Helo, helo ... helo ?

Eventually I stop calling

Stop Searching 

For the beat I couldn't hear anyway

And find comfort in my own beat 

One that only I can hear

Little me and I know 'alone' very well

It's all we have ever known 

How can I mind being alone if 'alone' 

Has been my only true companion 

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